Everyone has that one dismal friend who complains about everything. It’s tragic when your social happy hour shape-shifts into a therapy session for someone else. You know what I mean, don’t you?
What comes out of their mouth first is a complaint. They open every conversation with a gripe and whine about everything.
They disparage their colleagues and their boss. They complain about how mundane their job is and how little they are paid. They become envious when their friends get ahead or when the colleagues they hate get promoted.
They place the blame on their upbringing. They blame their personality for their inability to do certain things. They point the finger at the government, the systems, and the mechanism for holding them back.
They talk about the same problem, over and over, begin to monopolize every meet-up, and you sit there wondering, “Should we be eating these cakes, or should you be cutting me a check for $200 for moral damages?”.
Key Takeaways
To all the chronic complainers:
If you think you’re never the problem, you’re definitely the problem. Ouch! It hurts, but it is the truth.
You want a better life. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Instead of rambling on and on about what’s bothering you, devote your energy to what you can do to change the problem. Instead of letting complaining get the best of you, start retraining yourself to stop complaining so you can be more happy and successful.
I know it’s not easy. It’s easier to complain than it is to solve a problem. We are born with negative biases in our brains. We have a tendency to focus on what is wrong rather than attending to all of the rightness around us.
It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to never complain again, but try challenging yourself to stop for a few weeks and then maintain a much less complaint—ridden existence thereafter.
When you must complain, begin and end with a positive. Practicing reminding yourself, no matter how small, of one thing you’re grateful for every day. Change your way of thinking. Of course, this is much easier said than done, but it is certainly doable.
Cultivate a positive spin on how you perceive the problem. For instance, accept that life is just plain messy. No one and no situation is or can be perfect. Accept the situation for what it is and move forward. Keep the positives outweighing the negatives. When you encounter setbacks, keep moving forward and remember that everyone does.
It takes time to develop patience on the road. Tolerating the annoying habits of others takes practice. It also takes perseverance to learn to let go of minor details.
The past cannot be changed, and worrying about the future is futile; complaining about either is a waste of time. Rather, stay in the present moment and deal with the situation as it unfolds. While it may sound cliche, learn to accept everything that life has to offer—both the good and the bad. Even bad circumstances can teach you more mindful attitudes, such as patience.
The question is whether you will continue to complain or whether you will make a change and begin to create the future you want.
“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.”
Goodbye. Adios. Au Revoir. Sayōnara. Workers have been giving their bosses an earful of such words as of late. It’s common to see a surge in quitting when the job market is tight and there’s a cornucopia of open positions. But what’s going on right now is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before.
People leave their jobs for three main reasons: to move to a new company, to change industries, or to start their own businesses.
People were forced to work from home due to the pandemic. And because of the amount of time people spent at home, many began to look at their lives from a different perspective and reassess their values.
Many people began to realize the joy of spending time with friends and family, as well as spending time with themselves; they also realized that life is too short.
Burnout
The way people work is changing rapidly, and remote work has proven popular with both employees and many employers during the pandemic.
While some people might think working from home means doing less, the opposite may be true—just because we’re spending more time at home doesn’t mean we’re sitting on the couch, binge-watching Netflix, or sleeping. While remote work allows employees greater flexibility, it also makes disconnecting extremely difficult. It blurs the lines between people’s work, and many people end up working more hours as a result.
Many surveys also revealed that home workers take fewer lunch breaks, work through illness, and are more likely to be “always on” as the line between work and leisure time is blurred.
It takes more effort to have conversations through video calls than it does in real life. Face-to-face interactions need more mental processing than video calls. Nonverbal clues such as facial expressions, voice tone and pitch, and body language require more effort to process. This additional focus is very energy-intensive and could explain this feeling of fatigue.
Increased self-awareness is another reason. We get conscious of how we look and behave in front of the camera when we know everyone on the call is looking at us. We feel like we always need to be “on” and responsive. Over time, this can become exhausting and stressful.
Detachment of Work From Self-worth
Especially in today’s society, we attach our values intimately to our work because we’re judged by our portfolios and achievements.
But over the years, as we re-assessed our values and by having reduced contact with society and societal pressures, many have detached their value from their work. A few of my friends have quit their well-paying jobs to start their own businesses, and some have joined smaller firms. It surprised me when they told me, and I felt like it was a step down for them because their roles are pretty conventional and they were risk-averse and valued money the most. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense—all of them are happier and have a better work-life balance right now, and that’s their trade-off—I’m happy for them.
Detachment From Habits of Consumption
In today’s economy, every penny counts even more than ever. COVID-19 has led consumers to question their consumption habits—as consumers grapple with uncertainty, their consumption habits become more erratic and many are re-prioritising what is essential and embracing frugality. Spending is down across all industries as lockdown measures have limited what we can spend our money on due to the closure of restaurants and shops and the suspension of air travel.
And, as we reassessed our values and reduced our contact with society and societal pressures, consumerism has declined. Consumerism refers to the tendency of people living in a capitalist economy to engage in a lifestyle of excessive materialism that revolves around reflexive, wasteful, or conspicuous overconsumption.
People purchase luxury goods for a variety of reasons, almost all of which are related to the strong emotions that we associate with the purchase of expensive material goods. It could be for the purpose of climbing one’s social status or gaining a sense of accomplishment through hard work. The general observation is that purchasing more and more things appears to be less appealing to people than ever before. People are generally more interested in experiences—sharing and creating memories, participating in unique activities, going on adventures, etc.
COVID-19 may also exacerbate anti-globalization sentiment, leading consumers to abandon global brands in favor of locally produced goods. The lockdown made some people realize that excessive consumption does not make them happy, while others became aware of its negative impact on the environment and the value they place on material possessions.
Golden Age of Entrepreneurship
People from all over the world can now connect instantly thanks to the Internet. Suddenly, the world has become a treasure trove of possible investors, partners, employees, and customers ripe to plunder.
Social media and crowdfunding are two new platforms that have significantly improved entrepreneurial environments. They serve as potential options for funding, potential customer bases, sources for market research, and even a testing ground for new ideas—all real-time.
Starting a business is always a risk, but when compared to previous eras, the cost of failure today is as close to zero as possible. There are tools available to you, such as Wix, MailChimp, and SEMrush.
Furthermore, the cost of validating an idea has never been lower. Before social media and the internet, you had to rely on intuition and anecdotal information; surveying costs were much higher, and the process was extremely manual.
There has never been a greater number of communities for entrepreneurs and business owners than there are today. Having a group of people who understand what you’re going through because they’ve been through it themselves is invaluable. If you surround yourself with entrepreneurs who have reached a stage of business, that’s 2 or 3 steps ahead of where you are today, or if you connect with domain experts who know about industries or areas of business where you’re less knowledgeable, your risk of failure drops dramatically.
Takeaways
The Great Resignation, in my opinion, is a fantastic opportunity because it encourages both employers and employees to openly share their needs and design models that can accommodate both. The pandemic has been a terrible drain on our emotions and wellbeing, but it has also shown that we can be productive without dogmatically adhering to working habits shaped over a century ago.
There are many insights to be gained as leaders confront the Great Resignation, and with that great opportunity in reimagining what an inclusive organization could be. To retain underrepresented talent, organizations must pay close attention to how past patterns no longer serve the workforce of today—and that being intentional when it comes to inclusion is the only way through.
Let’s seize the opportunity to develop new working models based on a better understanding of what employers and employees require from one another.
Have you ever got a one poignant moment that you wish you’d done things differently, and that nagging question—”What if…?”—plays on repeat in our heads. I believe no one’s life is devoid of regrets.
Regret sucks. It eats us up and shatters us from inside. It hammers down our self-esteem and confidence to a small chunk of self-pity. It’s not easily forgotten, and it leaves an imprint on our heart and that can never be erased. You wish you had a rewind button but to err is human—we’re destined to make fallacious decisions, however—it’s futile.
The way to get over regret is not to ignore but push through it. It’s to engage that former self, to talk to them directly and understand why they did and what they did. It’s to sympathize with that former self, to care for them, and ultimately, to forgive them, and learn from them.
Think of your regrets as lessons and you have the opportunity to learn from them instead of “could haves” and “should haves”—those will only suck you into a rabbit hole of negativity.
Here Are 5 Mistakes You Should Stop Making Now To Avoid Lifelong Regrets.
1) Burning All Your Bridges
Be kind to the people you meet on your way up because you might need them on your way down, as the old adage goes. Life is a roller coaster ride. You may be riding the crests of success in your personal and professional lives right now, but who knows what tomorrow holds. Don’t burn the bridges that got you to where you are now, including past friendships, networks, and relationships. You may require them later in life.
2)Fretting Over Things That Cannot Be Changed/Are Out Of Your Control
There are certain things that you can’t change. You should never waste your time worrying about things that you can’t change such as physical problems and innate health problems. Worrying about such things will cause you unnecessary tension and stress. Instead, you should view everything as a blessing, approach everything with a positive attitude, and move forward fearless of failures—let nature takes its course.
3) Following Someone’s Else Dream
The agony of unfulfilled dreams is greater than the agony of disappointments. Twenty, thirty, or forty years from now, you will not regret how disappointing you were to your parents for not following the career path they chose for you as much as you will regret not pursuing your own true life passions. Do yourself a favor and stop living for the sake of other people’s dreams. Live your own life. After all, this is your life, isn’t it?
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” —Steve Jobs
4) Keeping Toxic People In Your Life Because You Feel Obligated
Everyone has someone in their life that does more harm than good. Whether it’s your family members, friends, or colleagues. They manipulate you, make you feel about yourself, judge you constantly, and many more—they enjoy every minute of it.
Know how to walk away when the time is right—cut them off out of your life before they destroy you—or at least set boundaries.
5) Pretending To Be Someone You Are Not
Society expects us to behave and act in certain ways. While it’s easy to succumb to societal pressures, don’t change just to please others. Don’t spend your entire life pretending to be someone you’re not in order to fit in. Be true to yourself. The most admirable and inspiring people on the planet are their authentic selves. When you are yourself, you’re comfortable. You attract like-minded people who love you for who you are, and who will help you live the most fulfilling life you can.
Conclusion
Life is short. Youth is finite. You have every opportunity to make the most of the life you have right now. Your decisions today will determine the number of regrets you will have in the next ten years.
Remember that you’re responsible for your failures and success in life—don’t blame others for your failures.
The question is, are you going to change anything today, or tomorrow to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life?
Introverts and extroverts are often viewed as two extreme opposites, and some people lie somewhere in the middle, ambiverts. While introverts make up 30% to 50% of the population, there are still prevailing fallacies about introverts, such as introverts are aloof, antisocial, depressed, etc.
Introversion and extroversion refer to where people receive energy from—it’s about how they unwind after social situations. Extroverts are energized by socializing in large groups of people; introverts are energized by spending time alone/with a smaller group of friends. People who are high in extroversion are outgoing and energetic. People who are low in extroversion are more solitary and reserved.
Do you agree or disagree with these statements?
I am usually the one who initiates a conversation with someone.
I don’t mind being the center of attention.
I don’t like/need a lot of alone time.
If you agree, you’re probably high in extroversion. If you disagree, you’re probably low in extroversion.
In today’s society, It can be rough being an introvert because they’re typically seen in a negative light and tend to be misunderstood and misjudged.
It’s evident that education by its nature favors extroverts. Students who don’t speak/contribute to the discussion don’t receive full credit. Anecdotally, most introverts feel extremely nervous and hesitant just to make a statement in class. Although extroverts are more likely to answer questions and perform well during presentations; introverts can work well on their own and can be more productive without needing an audience. Their true capabilities rise from underneath the surface when they are comfortable in their own space.
Besides, no one can really get introverts—even other introverts. Unless there are two of the same kind—birds of the same feather flock together. Unfortunately, even families, friends, spouses, etc., find it hard to actually understand what an introvert goes through.
If you are an introvert, you might recall being told by your parents to come out of your room and go socialize when you were really just trying to have a little quiet time. This can be confusing for extroverts who may not understand why a person needs solitude and how energy-sapping it is to socialize.
As stated, many people still have misconceptions about introverts and so they’re preconceived by options formed about them. We like other people who are similar to us. Since introverts and extroverts have different world perspectives, they view each other as different and thus may be naturally predisposed to dislike one another.
Changing negative first impressions is difficult. Someone who forms a negative impression of another person will be less inclined to meet that person a second time because they have judged the person in a negative light. Once a first impression is formed, people are less likely to change their minds. Thus, social ostracism tends to happen to introverts—remember the school nerd who never made any friends? Chances are he was just an introvert struggling to keep up with the class!
But is being an introvert necessarily putting you in an unfavorable position? Is that your fault? The answer is NO! The problem is with society, which doesn’t see it in the same way—society teaches us that being an introvert is the worst thing you can be and that everyone should want to be extroverted.
Always remember that within this large group of introverts are people such as Elon Musk, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, and so many more inspiring people. Being an introvert doesn’t stop them from excelling in life. If you think being an introvert is the worst thing that can happen to you, STOP!
There are 4 major advantages of being introverted.
1) Business Success
Imagine a typical entrepreneur. A quiet, reserved introvert is probably not what first came to mind. Aren’t entrepreneurs supposed to be gregarious and commanding—verbally adept and able to inspire people charismatically with the sheer force of their personality?
But did you know, in a recent study, analysts spent 10 years examining the personalities of 2,000 CEOs and concluded that the most successful ones were introverts?
Behaviors such as relationship building aren’t exclusive to extroverts. In fact, introverts tend to excel at things like building relationships because they are good listeners and observers.
2) They Make The World A Better Place
Introverts are often mistaken for wallflowers or shrinking violets because of their restrained demeanor.
Rosa Parks was a quiet, demure woman who was anything but a shrinking violet. The same can be said of Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, and other social reformers. Perhaps contending with their own struggles fueled their dogged efforts to challenge and ultimately change the injustices they witnessed.
They are proof that the quiet nature of the introvert is not to be underestimated and that, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”
3) Creativity
One of the perks of being introverted is the creativity it brings. As Albert Einstein said, “The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulate the creative mind.” Solitude gives expression to creative thinking, which is naturally an introvert’s habitat. Introverts naturally crave being alone, and it helps them tap into their reservoir of talents and creativeness.
It stands to reason that many of the most gifted writers, performers, athletes, and artists tend toward the introverted end of the spectrum. People such as Steve Martin, J.K. Rowling, and Steven Spielberg are only a sample of famous introverts who have made the world a more colorful place through their artistic gifts and talents.
4) Independence
The importance of independence can’t be overlooked, especially in today’s world. Being able to cater to your needs without relying on others is a rare quality and is indeed something to be proud of.
Introverts have this advantage because of how reserved their personalities are. They learn to be self-reliant by keeping a small circle and finding comfort in the little things. People that are independent face fewer disappointments and can easily maneuver through life on their own—they have fewer expectations from people outside their inner circle, giving them a greater security level.
Dear Introverts,
There is nothing wrong with being an Introvert—you don’t need to change who you are because of being introverted. Stop being hard on yourself. Don’t feel like a pariah. Always remember, eagles never run in the race of dogs—they fly alone
Hearing the right words, at the right time, from the right person can have a tremendously positive effect on our lives—why? Simply because good advice can help us get through the toughest times, sort of like a glimmer of hope.
But, of course, receiving good advice only matters if we put it into use and not only that, we mustn’t stop there, but rather share it with others as well.
I’d like to share a piece of advice that has stuck with me ever since the day my mentor shared it with me—the best way to find yourself is to start writing your resume and sending it out.
When you’re writing your resume, there will be 2 possibilities.
1. There are a lot of achievements that you can list on your resume
2. There is nothing you have done that is worth mentioning; your achievements aren’t exceptional enough that make you stand out
If you’re the former, congratulations, you’ll probably feel that you could perform at a consistent level or even better if you’re in another industry/company. What’s next is to just send out your resume (to gauge your worth) and you will know if you’re what you think you are after 3 to 5 days.
If you’re the latter, stop your critical monkey brain from telling you how unfortunate you are and appreciate the beauty that life has to offer—building a career is a lifelong journey. Take a step back and start with appreciating all the good things in your life, however significant or insignificant—it’s too easy to dwell on the negativity. Get back to work and gain more experience whilst constantly enhancing your skill sets.
Things I wish my parents had taught me. Things I wish I had learned much younger. Things I want to share it with you.
I’m Not That Special
I was overly self-conscious, thereby overestimating the degree to which others observed and noticed me. As I grew older, I realized that I wasn’t that special. Regardless of how talented I am, I am just one of the billion people alive.
According to Psychology, people, on the whole, overestimate how much other people notice about us; for instance, people who embarrass themselves focus only on how much they’ve embarrassed themselves instead of factors around them. Chances are people may not remember how clumsy you were in school and even your name; even if they do, their opinions still don’t matter.
On no account should you let people’s opinions dictate your feelings. What makes you likable may also be the reason that makes you unlikeable. Never will you capable of pleasing everybody, unless you sell ice-cream.
The Art of Saying No
My mom was a true embodiment of selflessness, and she wanted me to practice that. She taught me to put others before myself. I turned out to be acquiescent and malleable.
Having helped my friends complete their assignments, I failed a subject on account of plagiarizing my friends’ work. Little did I consider all the ramifications thereof before I did the favor. My professor didn’t buy it and remained skeptical even as I explained myself. It was an excruciating lesson, and I deserved it — I took the blame.
A wise man once said, “live your life for you, not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected, or disliked stop you from being yourself.” Saying no doesn’t make you a bad or rude person. I don’t feel guilty anymore. I feel empowered and free, instead.
Execution Matters
The question I get asked the most: If you could go back time and change one thing from your past, what would you change?
My default answer would always be: I’ll give my younger self a slap in the face and tell him if he doesn’t want to live with regrets, he has to seize every opportunity from here on out and do it even if he’s against the odds — take the risk or leave the chance.
I missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity a few years back. I chanced upon an untapped market; I didn’t seize the massive opportunity and missed the window of opportunity — I let it pass me by.
I always knew that entrepreneurship ran in my blood. It wasn’t because I wanted to be my own boss, but I wanted my story and accolades to go down in history. I didn’t just yearn to change my life — I yearned to change the world; having been a 3X founder, I experienced countless rejections and made irreversible mistakes and blunders.
Here are the 3 lessons I want to share:
It’s Going to Be Lonely
People follow a paradigm — adhere to conventions. According to Psychology, people, on the whole, are more comfortable working in groups. Almost all the evidence suggests that opposites rarely attract. Being a founder deviates from the conventional path — break the mold. Thus goes the adage: birds of a feather flock together. You’re prone to have different views than most of your friends; you may end up losing friends or not being able to resonate with.
I juggled work and study when I was in university, thereby being treated like an outsider — who never fitted in with the crowd. I sacrificed everything pursuing my dream. I only hung out with my friends once in a while and lived frugally tapping my savings to fund my startups.
As an INFP, I don’t see any problem of being a recluse. We find ourselves losing people. I’m fond of living a solitary life, spending most of my time in my crib — a sanctuary and an oasis of mine, focusing on myself. Solitude has become my new norm, and I’ve thrived in it; if you’re an extrovert, chances are this may be a challenge for you.
Having a Co-founder Is Like a Marriage
Pick your co-founders wisely — they can kill your startup. Pick the most well-suited ones, not the most capable ones. Finding the right founders is the holy grail of every founder; it will take time, but it’s better to find “the one” than to go through a messy break-up later on. Besides, compatibility among founders is crucially vital. A good founder is the missing piece of the puzzle. Founders should seek co-founders whose fortes differ from your own — his/her strengths complement yours, and vice versa.
I wasn’t aware of wherein important a co-founder was; I made a blunder. I always knew Billy (not his real name), my former co-founder, was never the right fit, but I still invited him to join, anyway. After several months, he quit. I will never forget the last conversation I had with Billy. He said to me, “Hey, I need a “real job” and I’m out.”
Embrace Rejection
As Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Feedback, both positive and negative, is very helpful. It’s the backbone of success. Never should founders jump in with both feet without knowing the depth of water. We have to set our ego aside when it comes to learning. The only way to reach your full potential is by mastering your ego and taming your temper. Life is too short to fear rejection. Learn from mistakes and come back up. Entrepreneurship is all about fixing a problem that people can’t; getting rejected essentially means you may have targeted the wrong customers or you need to pivot.
When I ventured into the land of entrepreneurship, little did I know that wherein important market validation was. I wasted years and countless fortune on a product that failed to meet market demand before I came across The Lean Startup, one of my favorite books, that has shaped my mindset thereafter.
Welcome to 